I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Boobs speak an international language.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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