You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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