are you so shy because you have an std?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
