No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
All I want is dick and wine.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
