I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
