now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Quick, to the slutcave!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm both gender and math confused
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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