I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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