I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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