What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
