so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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