It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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