Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
vagina is talking i cant
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
