there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
