we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
