I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
