Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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