Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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