I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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