Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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