I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I see more hoeing in ur future
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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