Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
