Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
