chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
there was a trapeze. enough said
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
