I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.