so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
