there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.