Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.