ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
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The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.