u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize