I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
