who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
