The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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