there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
