LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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