i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
