We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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