i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
