Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
