marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She bit a glass in half.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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