i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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