Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
These tits shall not be calmed
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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