It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Found the puke drawer
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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