My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
handjob tips. give me some.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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