I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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