U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
