me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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