that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
