I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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