we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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