You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
