I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize