forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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