"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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