you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
