Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
