if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
