She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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