why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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