In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
