Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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