dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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