I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sorry about my life...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
