I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
