I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
