This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
