hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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