I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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