I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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