whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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