I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
